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BDSM For Beginners

BDSM For Beginners Woman In Sex Mask

When you think of a very misunderstood sexual practice, you think of BDSM. It is wrongfully believed to be physically and mentally harmful and is only meant for abusive partners and abnormally kinky people.

BDSM comprises three categories: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. Although these terms seem frightening when separate, BDSM is the safest sex you can have as it relies on zero judgment and gives you space to communicate your desires and put your boundaries first.

The power play is the heart of BDSM as it allows you the freedom to play, experiment, give up control to someone else, with the consent, of course, or be in control if you prefer calling the shots. BDSM allows you to use your imagination and creativity, role play, and engage in sexual themes of submission and dominance.

BDSM newbies can be forgiven if they imagine BDSM as the Red Room featured in the "fifty shades of grey" movie. If you have seen the American series "Devious maids," it won't be surprising to think of BDSM as a sexual act that can lead to a heart attack. However, this is untrue as most TV shows featuring BDSM in their storyline tend to portray it at its extremes.

Although BDSM involves the use of props, you don't have to start with it immediately. Start slowly with the basics until you figure out your preferences.

For a beginner's introduction to BDSM, it is essential to know that BDSM requires a little bit of preparation. Proceed cautiously and with care. Don't attempt to re-enact a movie or novel scene without proper practice, education, and experience. It will ruin it all for you and your partner.

Beginners Guide To BDSM

If you're thinking about engaging in BDSM and having the most fun from it, here's a list of things to do.

  • Do your research and educate yourself: It would be a bad idea to attempt to engage in BDSM blindly with no knowledge of what to expect. Portrayals of BDSM in movies (including most porn) are usually extreme and won't work for you. Try reading and taking classes to learn about the different moves and scenarios in BDSM. Through educating yourself, you might discover that you can switch between being dominant and submissive. Even though you enjoy being cuffed (bondage), you may also find that you are not too fond of getting whipped (discipline).
  • Create a fantasy: Before you begin to participate, try to figure out what's sexy for you by using your imagination and turn-ons. Read a few BDSM-themed books or watch porn to see what you might like.
  • Have a conversation: If you are going into BDSM alone, it might help to talk to a sex therapist and other people who have been in practice. If you are trying it out with your partner, have a candid, well-detailed conversation with them regarding your desires, turn-ons, and boundaries. This is important and must be done in person. Trust and communication are paramount in BDSM as it requires giving up control. Let your partner know what you're willing to do and listen attentively to theirs. This will help you understand your limits. Write down everything you have both accepted and rejected and treated as a contract. Remember the agreement between Christian Grey and Anastasia?
  • Get a safe word: A safeword is something you or your partner can say if you feel you are crossing a limit. Your safe word should be something you don't usually say in the bedroom, such as "butterscotch" or "infrared." It should also be something you can easily remember in the heat of the moment. Once the safe word is said, every activity must stop; that is the rule of BDSM.
  • Pay attention to the safety and well being of your partner: It is crucial to always check for your partner's physical and emotional wellbeing. Something as simple as asking if your partner is okay or checking a tied area to know if the skin under the bondage material is comfortable will go a long way to make the whole act enjoyable.

Other beginner tips include choosing a location, going shopping for BDSM toys such as nipple clamps, dressing up for a role play, planning and going slowly, giving yourself time to get used to one act before moving on to the next, and taking care of yourself afterward.

BDSM Guides

Different BDSM situations require different handbooks as each practice is not the same as the next. These minor variations can be the difference between a rewarding or chastening sexual experience.

Beginner bondage and discipline

Bondage is a form of BDSM that requires one person to tie up the other in a sex position. Beginners of bondage sex should know there is no shortage of sex positions, and the restraint method can be tailored to their preferences. The bondage sex positions for beginners include spooning bondage, handcuff to the bed, hogtie, ball tie, frog tie, cowgirl, chair bondage, standing bondage, and rear entry bondage.

Discipline is a form of BDSM that requires a set of rules and punishment enforced in the submissive partner by the dominant.

Beginner Submissive And Dominant

Being submissive and dominant in BDSM is when one partner takes control in the bedroom with the other partner's permission. The one giving up control is the submissive, and the one gaining control is called the dominant. Starting as a beginner submissive or dominant can be overwhelming. Here are some tips for beginner dominants:

  • Read, research, and ask questions;
  • Know your dominant side. What kind of dom are you, and what do you expect from your sub;
  • Create a sex menu;
  • Always check in with your sub;
  • Give and receive consent always;
  • Have fun.

As a beginner submissive, it is best to identify and establish your limits. Discuss these limits with your dom and make them very aware of your boundaries. If they get carried away, don't hesitate to use your safe word.

S&M For Beginners

S&M means sadism, and masochism, often written as sadomasochism. A sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain and humiliation on others, i.e., their sexual partners, while a masochist derives pleasure from experiencing pain. When engaging in S&M, it is essential to ease into it and be attentive, not to cause excessive harm to your partner.

BDSM toys

Sex toys are always a delight to have and use, and BDSM is no different. As a beginner participant of BDSM, toys are crucial to make the affair more fun. You have to know the various BDSM toys to invest in and how to use them. Some of the toys include:

  • Blindfolds.
  • Bondage hood or masks.
  • Floggers.
  • Gags, e.g., ball gags and mouth spreaders.
  • Clamps, e.g., nipple clamps, clit (genital) clamps, and nose clamps.
  • Whips.
  • Restraints, e.g., bondage ropes, binders, and shackles.
  • Spreader bars.
  • Yokes.
  • Anal hooks.
  • Electric wands.

The rules of BDSM are pretty simple. Consent must be given at all times, and engagement in the act must be voluntary. The participants must be aware of what they are getting into, and boundaries must be discussed and maintained.

Conclusion

BDSM is more than just having sex as most times 'a scene' may not necessarily involve sex or touching. It is a lifestyle practice that can influence and boost confidence both in and outside the bedroom when done well.

I hope this article was helpful to you. If you want to improve your sex life, stop by to check our best sex toys reviews. Here you will find everything that fits your budget and taste.

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