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How To Be A Good Dom?

Good Dominant In A BDSM Relationship.

So you have recently discovered BDSM and indulging in kinks, and you're curious about what it takes to be a dom? In this world of unconventional sexual pleasures, it is an appealing proposition to be dominant because most people are fascinated by the idea of being controlling another in bed. However, it is worth noting that these days, the term "Dominant" gets thrown around loosely and not everyone who claims to be a dom plays the part convincingly. Being a dom entails taking charge and controlling, not just sexual play with your partner.

This article will help you understand your role as a dom in the freaky world of BDSM relationships.

Who is a dom?

A dominant or dom person serves as one part of a BDSM relationship alongside the submissive. In this kinky relationship of pleasure and power play, the dom enjoys taking charge by leading and dictating what happens during sex. On the other hand, the submissive relishes the lower status, servitude, and taking orders from the dom. The power dynamic of this relationship is roleplay, and participants can choose to extend this play to other areas of their relationship as long as it is consensual.

Types of doms

There are many types of dominant roles in a BDSM relationship. To become a proper dom, you need to understand the various roles and select one that exhibits your true sexual desire or mix different styles to create your unique dom personality.

  1. Sadist dom. The sadomasochist relationship engages the highest level of kink in a BDSM relationship. The sadist dom plays the role of pain inflictor in this frizzy erotic relationship. In this role, the dom simply gets turned on by humiliating the sub also known as a masochist, through punishment, spanking, and bondage during sex. As the dom in a sadomasochistic relationship, you're expected to bring your partner pleasure by turning them into your personal slut.
  2. Daddy dom. Unlike the sadist dom, the daddy dom is a more subtle controller in the relationship. Rather than inflicting pain or humiliation as a daddy dom, your greatest sexual delight will come playing the role of the father figure in the relationship. Take charge by putting the little girl in her place with acts such as enforced bedtime or limited screen time.
  3. Master dom. The master or mistress dom is one of the most common dominant roles in BDSM. This role sees you paired with a slave submissive whose sole goal is to serve you. In this power dynamic, you treat the submissive as a property in sexual and non-sexual play. Take charge by turning the slave into your sexual plaything and ensure that they perform their duties just how you want it.

How to be a proper dom?

Modern-day movies and porn have created a false idea of what dominance entails. If you want to learn how to be a good dom, it's time to unlearn your falsities and take a step into reality with these dom tips.

  • Take control: If you want to be a proper dom, you have to act the part. The first step to being a dominant is control. You don't necessarily have to be “Christian Grey” to be a good dom, but your body language and posture should portray power and confidence. This confidence and control should also be extended to your speech. Take charge and control the simple affairs like the proper controller that you are. Instead of statements like, “Can I make you a coffee?” enforce your dominance by ordering your sub to do so.
  • Understand your sub's desires: Being a good dom isn't all about enforcing control over your partner at every chance you get. Your priority should be pleasing your partner with your show of dominance. To do this, you need to understand your sub's fetishes. Like fingerprints, no two subs will share the same exact desires. BDSM encompasses various dynamics, from emotional degradation to pain and many others. The only way you'll understand what makes your sub tick is by asking.
  • Prepare for your kinky session: Like all things that are done well, being a great dominant requires practice. Preparing for your kinky session affords you greater control over your sexual activities. Incorporate more plays in line with your sub's sexual fetish to unlock the world of fantasy that they yearn for.
  • Keep BDSM tools and sex toys handy: Before engaging in a kinky session with your sub, ensure that all tools and sex toys required for your world of fantasy are on hand. From nipple clamps to whips, ropes, candles, and blindfolds, ensure that all the needed BDSM sex toys are readily available before engaging in kinky play.


True dominance can transcend an ordinary sex role and grow into a way of life. Your position as a dominant means that you'll be held to a higher standard; embrace it to enliven your BDSM relationship. If you found this article helpful, you can also learn how to make your sex life more explosive by looking at our sex toy reviews. Here, you'll find unique toys that fit your budget and taste.

What is a dom person?
A dom person is one that takes charge and dictates what happens during sexual and non-sexual play in a BDSM relationship.
How to be a female dom?
Like a male dominant, a female dom takes charge of sex and non-sexual play in the relationship as the partner follows on as the submissive. To be a successful femdom, you have to enforce your wishes and dictate to your partner.
How to be a dominant?
To be a good dom, you're expected to take control in the world of BDSM sexual roleplay. Enforce your deepest sexual desires in the consensual relationship while the submissive follows.
What is a soft dom?
A soft dom is dominant with a more subtle approach to BDSM play. Rather than engaging in sadism or humiliation, soft doms give their submissive pleasure and practice softer dominant acts.
What is dom and sub relationship?
A dom and sub relationship is a form of sexual relationship with power dynamics where one person enjoys taking charge and dictating play while the other follows.

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