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How to be a Good Sub?

Submissive And Dominant Partners

BDSM is now more in the mainstream, and it has become an art form of some sort. It is primarily thanks to factors such as the mass media, print media, and social media platforms shining a fresh perspective on the art form. The days when BDSM was frowned upon in public are long gone, as the tide has undoubtedly shifted amongst active participants. However, it is essential to note that BDSM operates on fine lines, and a mistake in the art form could lead to dire effects. That's why we pen thought-provoking pieces like this, and that's why we are here for you.

Here, we will be looking into the nitty-gritty of the act known far and wide as BDSM. Also, we will be checking out the qualities to look out for in a top-notch submissive partner, which makes a sub such a vital part of BDSM sex. There's a lot to decipher, so it's high time that we get right to the crux of the discussion.

Table of Contents

About BDSM

Before we look into the sub and dom relationship, it is essential to know what BDSM stands for and what makes it such a fascinating prospect. The BD in BDSM stands for bondage, and bondage essentially means "the practice of consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner for erotic stimulation." Remember, both partners must consent to the act of tying up, and anything less could constitute a punishable offense under the law of the land you find yourself in.

The SM in BDSM stands for sadomasochistic, which entails "bondage is often used as a means to an end, where the restrained partner is more accessible." Sadomasochistic behavior operates on the fine lines of pleasure and pain. Hence, it shouldn't be an act carried out by the faint-hearted. In this activity, the restrained partner can derive sensual pleasure from the feeling of helplessness and immobility, and the active partner can derive visual pleasure and satisfaction from seeing their partner tied up.

BDSM requires a host of components, and it is not out of the ordinary to see people practicing for ages before they master the art. What's more, BDSM isn't for someone with a low threshold for pain, but rather individuals that are willing to risk a lot for a lot of pleasure. Furthermore, a lot of trust goes into submitting oneself as the sub during the act of BDSM, and we will educate you about that in a wee bit.

The perfect sub

Does the perfect sub exist? Yes, the ideal sub does exist, even though you'll have to look long and hard before finding them. Here are some of the qualities that a top-notch sub should possess, and it'll help your perfect sub search if you pay attention to the finer details.

  1. Know your responsibilities. The first step to becoming a perfect sub is ensuring that you know your responsibilities in the bedroom and outside of it. A sub should not step out of line when performing the act of BDSM, and such lines could be a little blurry. However, it's a known fact that giving up your desired level of control and focusing on your partner will be your main priorities during play, and it is remarkably sexy. A sub should know their responsibilities in the bedroom, but that doesn't mean that they should do something that they aren't comfortable with. Remember, even during BDSM, consent is of the essence, and anything else could be detrimental in the long run.
  2. Enquire about your dom’s fetishes and what makes them tick. As a sub, you should pay attention to the things that make your dom tick, and it is such that it would bring added spice to the BDSM play. Doms are different, and what ticks dom 1's box might not necessarily tick dom's chest. Do not hesitate to ask questions before, during, and after the act of BDSM, as this would bring added spice to the bedroom (or other room). Ask your dom about what they like, ensure that you listen when they open up to share, and the rest would be reasonably plain sailing.
  3. Set clear boundaries. BDSM might be one of the unique forms of sex, but it's 2022, and they must set clear boundaries. As a sub, ensure that you communicate what you prefer, how you love to be handled, and what you couldn't be caught doing. It's challenging to know your preferences or limits when you're first starting, but with time, your dom will need to work within a structure set by you. Such a structure will bring sanity into the bedroom, and anything less could lead to dire consequences. What's more, things such as safe words and close calls would work wonders in the art of BDSM; the sooner you figure it out, the better.
  4. Give yourself a pep talk before playtime. Subs are a vital part of BDSM, and without them, the art of BDSM wouldn't be a possibility. BDSM and other related activities operate the fine line between passion, pleasure, and pain, and the sooner a sub prepares her mind, the better. It would help physically, mentally, and emotionally balanced before jumping into a BDSM session. These sessions aren't a plaything, and you must tick all the boxes before hopping into the sex room. This pep talk could be undertaken by reading soothing books, checking out helpful movies, and communicating with your dom. Try to test the waters, try finding out the depths of your desire, and the rest would flow smoothly.
  5. Be honest about what you did or didn’t enjoy during play. Honesty is the best policy in BDSM, and doing so would save you a lot of stories that touch on the not-so-distant future. Let your partner know what you loved and what you don't wish to experience again, and this would work wonders in subsequent thirsts. BDSM can only work when both partners choose to reciprocate, and anything else would lead to stories that touch. This honesty ranges from facts about the sex toys you prefer, the positions you adore, and the actions you savor. If they have the correct information and the freedom to explore and adapt their approach in the future, your following scenes can only get better!

Final Thoughts

Without subs, BDSM would be impossible, and the submissive members are sadly underappreciated in the BDSM game. However, there would be no fun for the doms without them, and BDSM wouldn't be the same. We have given you the rudiments that go into the art of BDSM, and we hope that you learned a thing or two from our think piece. We have an array of articles, essays, and thought-provoking write-ups that can bring added spice into your sex life. Here, you will find everything that fits your budget and exquisite taste.

FAQs
What does submissive mean?
A submissive is the less dominant member of a BDSM relationship. Submissives are usually referred to as subs, and they have a significant role to play in BDSM. The opposite of a submissive is a dom, and they are on the other side of the spectrum.
How to be a female dom?
You can be a female dom by partaking in the dominant aspect of BDSM. Female doms could either work with male subs or female subs, as the case might be. Female doms are also known to be incredibly sexy and forthright with their intentions.
How to be a good sub?
You can be a good sub by paying attention to the needs of your dom. You can be a good dom by being open with your sub, and you could be a good dom by paying close attention to detail.
What is a sub in a relationship?
The sub is the more delicate member of the BDSM relationship, and they have a lesser role in the relationship. Subs play a significant role in such a relationship, and without them, the act of BDSM wouldn't be possible.
What do doms like to hear?
Doms love to hear soothing words from their subs. Doms aren't as demanding as you think, and they are remarkably reasonable during the art of BDSM. Doms also love to hear the truth, and anything else might be detrimental to the end goal of BDSM.

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