Last updated

Mismatched Sex Drive

Couple With Mismatched Libido.

Sex drive is important in a relationship (no matter the length thereof) such that if there is a lack of it or a mismatch, the end could be near. When one partner wants sex while the other doesn’t or when one wants it too much, things can begin to go downhill.

However, there is no problem without a solution. So, if you feel like you have a high sex drive or your husband/boyfriend has a low sex drive, you don’t need to worry. There is a way to solve it.

This article is about mismatched sex drive, why it is so, and how to treat it so that your happiness, quality of life, and relationship can be fulfilled.

What are mismatched sex drives?

Mismatched sex drive is simply the difference in the libido of two people in such a way that they don’t correspond. It can either be a higher sex drive than a partner or much lower. These libido differences can lead to many negative repercussions for a relationship - including its end.

Libido is the desire or the urge to want, crave, and have sex. Sex here does not mean intercourse alone. It includes masturbation, cuddling, fondling, kissing, hugging, caressing, and so on. As long as sexual pleasure is derived, it is sex.

It is affected by several factors (we will get to that soon) and is different in make and females. In a man, libido is determined primarily by the hormone – testosterone while estrogen is the determinant for a female’s libido.

And though sex drive comes and goes, it shouldn’t affect a relationship so significantly. There should only be a cause for alarm if your partner always wants to have sex more than 'normal' or if she/he doesn’t want to have sex at all – and this should have been happening repeatedly for a long time.


Generally, there are several reasons for mismatched libido. It is influenced by medical, environmental, physical, mental, and social factors. Some of them include sleep deprivation, stress, hormonal imbalance, anxiety, a side effect from medications, boring relationships, vagina dryness, erectile dysfunction, a problem with the relationship, increased responsibilities at work or with kids, old age, and so on.

However, since men and women are uniquely different, here are the things that can lead to different libido in men and women.

Ladies' first

In a woman, the things that can lead to decreased libido include:

  1. Stress, overload, or depression. This can be as a result of work, daily life activities, raising kids, and so on. But it does decrease the urge for sex.
  2. Lack of sleep or not enough sleep. When the mind is not fully rested, it can make the husband and wife sexually incompatible.
  3. Generally, drugs that affect the hormonal balance in a woman such as birth control pills or antidepressants can lead to reduced craving for even the slightest sexual act.
  4. Women that are suffering from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) would equally have a decreased libido.
  5. Postpartum could cause a few women to lose the craving for closure making their partner’s sex drive higher and theirs lower.
  6. Women that are close to menopause or those that are currently in their menopausal stage could also have different sex drives.

In men

There are obvious signs a man has a high libido because men are visual beings. So if your man is not turned on every time you stand naked in front of him or when you wear that red lace lingerie he loves, then his sex drive is most likely low. And here are the likely causes:

  1. He is always anxious.
  2. Has mild or serious psychiatric disorders.
  3. Low self-esteem or self-efficacy.
  4. Alcohol or drug abuse.
  5. Childhood or adolescent abuse.
  6. Homophobia.
  7. Problems with interpersonal relationships.
  8. Low testosterone levels.
  9. Old age.
  10. Hyperprolactinemia.
  11. No interest in the relationship/woman.
  12. Specific momentary life situations (like the death of a close one, or job loss).
  13. Make sexual arousal disorder.
  14. Erectile dysfunction, and so on.

How to deal with mismatched libidos?

Couples with different sex drives still have hope. They can first go to the doctor for a hormone test to see if all is fine. Then they can check through the causes we have mentioned above. If it is, both of them should eat better, rest well, and try to reduce stress or anxiety.

If it is a drug, stop or change the drug and if it is an illness, consult the appropriate physician for treatment. Couples with mismatched libidos can also talk about it together and find a way to meet in the middle. Sometimes, it just could be the wrong timing.

They can also try to enhance their sex life with sex toys and furniture because the boring relationship could also lead to different sex drives in relationships. When. The sex becomes exciting, both of you might experience an immediate craving for the next sex you'll have.


We hope this article has provided you with relatable mismatched sex drive solutions that you can apply. Help a friend, and share this article with someone. And if you wish to learn more about how to improve your sex life solo or with a partner, read some of our best sex toy reviews. You will find everything that fits your taste and budget.

Why don’t I have a sex drive?
Sex drive is different for everyone and is influenced by many factors. It is also fluid, such that it comes and goes. The main cause for a low sex drive is the state of the mind among other factors.
Why is my libido so high?
So many things affect sex drive in a person. However, the primary determinant is hormones. So, if your sex drive is so high, it means you have a good level of testosterone and estrogen in your body.
How to improve sex life?
There are two magic solutions to enhancing sex life: keep learning how to please yourself (and your partner) and try sex toys. Until you try it, you'll never know how sweet sex can be.
How to cope with different libidos?
If your partner has a lower or higher libido than you do, talk to them about it and they to find the cause. If it requires the intervention of a consultant, do so. Different libidos can really affect a relationship.

Tags: popular sex toys, dom sub aftercare, how to use a fleshlight, sexual positions to reduce leg pain, tips for choosing finger vibrator, sexy roleplay ideas, how to self sucking, diy chastity, big booty dolls, egg vibrator

Leave a Comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *