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How to Be More Confident in Bed?

Sexual Self Confident Woman

“I have no sexual confidence”. This is a statement you might have heard or even said before. It usually starts from the feeling of being unworthy of a proper sensual and sexual life. And it slowly graduates from your thoughts to be a real thing. You now feel super sexually awkward and have lost your ability to express yourself to the full extent where sexuality is concerned.

This article will guide you on how to feel sexually confident and also how to prevent low sexual self-esteem in the future. Read on!

How Sexually Confident Are You?

Sex and confidence go together like hands and gloves. To enjoy sex with your partner, you need to be comfortable with sexuality and confident in yourself.

Sexual confidence goes way beyond having the perfect ass or having six-packs. How comfortable are you with your body? Do you cover up quickly during sex or prefer to have sex in the dark? Those may be the signs that your sexual confidence is flawed. Some people even make naughty jokes that would make it seem they are comfortable with sexuality, but it’s all a cover-up. At the end of the day, you discover that many people have lost confidence in the bedroom and are only making sexual jokes to feel better about it.

Sexual confidence means you are comfortable with your body, love it, and have the ability to recognize what gives you pleasure while also assessing and meeting your partner’s sexual needs. If you picture yourself as unattractive and undeserving of your sexual partner’s attention, it would affect your sexual self-esteem.

What Causes Low Sexual Self Esteem?

You can develop low sexual self esteem as a result of a number of things. This ranges from sexual victimization to pressure from your partner. The following are possible causes of low sexual self esteem;

  • Issues with your partner: The words of your partner about your body could affect your thoughts. If they find you unattractive sexually and keep singing about it every time, you will find yourself thinking about it a lot and end up being overly conscious of the flaws during sex.
  • What you think about your body: When you look into the mirror and see that curvy woman with back rolls and flappy arms, how do you feel? Do you feel good about the size of your penis? Some people feel so unsexy when they look at themselves. If you don’t appreciate your body, feeling sexual would feel like a crime to you because you feel you don’t deserve it.
  • History of abuse: Studies have shown that childhood sexual abuse can affect your adult sexual life. When emotions and feelings connected to the abuse are triggered, it can cause a harsh reminder and force you to deal with it over again. When that happens, your defense comes up in a bid to get away from the thoughts. Also, if your partner happens to be the one with an abuse history, you might lose your sexual self esteem when they do not respond to your touches.

How to Build Your Sexual Confidence?

Becoming sexually confident again is not impossible. You just have to undo the thoughts in your head and appreciate yourself once again. And if your lack of confidence in the bedroom is due to abuse, you can see a therapist for proper healing.

Are you ready to start being comfortable with your sexuality again? Below are some of the ways to gain your confidence in bed quickly;

  • Appreciate the person in the mirror: Regardless of your shape, size, or length, learn to appreciate and love your body. You can be plus-size and still be a sexy woman in bed. Lay aside the thoughts you have conjured in your head because of what people say about you and your body.
  • Choose your undies wisely: Don’t just wear the grumpy-looking panties and bras every time; try nets and laces too. It helps you feel sexy, and feeling sexy helps to build confidence in bed. Doing that does not only affect you; it makes your sexual partner see and appreciate your new sexual energy.
  • Learn and tell your sexual partner about your sexual needs too. Let them know what turns you on and gives you pleasure. Also, learn about your partner’s sexual needs and help with them. This can make it fun for you, such that you both enjoy the process all the way. Get used to talking about sex and exploring new sexual techniques.
  • Talk to a therapist: There are some cases where you need to see a therapist to heal from whatever is causing you to lose confidence in the bedroom. If you realize that the conventional solutions are not working, see a therapist about it. It helps if your partner is involved in the process too.

Extra Tip to Spice up Your Sex Life

One of the best ways you can build your sexual confidence in the bedroom is by exploring different ways to pleasure yourself. You can introduce sex toys like vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, and others to spice your sex life. If your partner agrees, you can both pick and explore the sex toys together.


One of the best things that can happen to anyone in a sexual relationship is to have an understanding partner. Being able to discuss how you feel honestly with your partner can help solve your bad bedroom habit quicker since you are both going through the healing process together.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you found it helpful to your sex life, do not pass by our best sex toy reviews, where you will find just the right one for you.

How to be more active in bed as a woman?
Don’t just lay down and watch your partner do the work. Take the reins too. You can also introduce the use of sex toys to add spice to your lovemaking too.
How to be seductive?
There’s no one way to become seductive. Use dirty words sometimes, learn the right body language that can trigger you and your partner. Also, make eye contact, correct facial expressions like a sly smile, maintain the correct posture and touch subtly.
How to be confident in bed with a new partner?
Believe you deserve pleasure, understand and communicate your sexual desires, pay attention to your partner’s sexual needs, and explore other ways to make your sexual life hot and lively.
How to be sexually confident man?
You can do that by embracing yourself, asking, finding out, and exploring ways to pleasure yourself and your partner. Also, have positive thoughts about your sexuality and your performance during sex.
How to feel yourself sexually?
You can start by loving your body. Wear clothes and undies that will make you feel sexually attractive. Also, learn things that give you pleasure and let your partner know if you have one.

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