The way to a man’s orgasm is a continuous thrust of object A into hole B. The way to a woman’s orgasm is... it’s more complicated. It requires a lot of foreplay with strategic touching, rubbing, and flicking of several pleasure points. But many men don’t know this. That’s why we have an orgasm gap. See what it is and how it can kill a beautiful relationship in the blink of an eye.
What is orgasm gap?
It is also called a pleasure gap and it refers to the repetitive distance between male orgasm and female orgasm during sex.
According to research, 2 out of every 3 women don’t achieve orgasm often during sex. And about 20% have never even felt it before. And though there are many reasons for this (we'll get to this), some say it is primarily because women want sex to last longer than men can handle. (It takes a man 5.4 minutes to cum while a woman needs the sex to last for up to twice that time). Others say that it is because the women’s clitoris (pleasure spot) is located far away from hole B.
Many conclude that both men and women (at least the majority of them) don’t know how to successfully pleasure a lady. So, while most men moan and grunt when they cum, many women are just lying there waiting for when he'll get off. This is an obvious need for intervention.
The reason behind the orgasm gap
To find the solution for a problem, one first needs to identify the cause. That’s why we too would look at some of the reasons for the difference in male and female orgasm frequency apart from the one we've already mentioned.
- Health Barrier: If you have never experienced orgasm either in a dream, alone while masturbating, with a partner, or in fantasies, then it might be your health. There could either be dysfunction with the brain and CNS or a vascular dysfunction (insufficient blood in the genitals) or it could be hormonal changes.
- Emotional or Psychological Barrier: The mind is powerful and at the same time delicate and vulnerable. If there is emotional stress or trauma in the equation, there would be a weakened orgasm or a lack of it altogether. Worry too is an enemy.
- Problem partner: When the relationship is going through tough times, sex too would go through tough times. Things like betrayal, quarrel, scandal, grievances, and disappointments can hurt orgasm statistics. Difficulty in understanding between couples too can be a big factor.
- Household sex: This is what is referred to as routine sex. It means that things can go wrong even when the relationship is too smooth. No quarrel, no scandal, nothing. But the sex is the same thing every time. This can weaken orgasm till it’s completely lost.
- Irregular sex: Prolonged lack of sex for a lady can cause the woman to have delayed orgasm while the man would have a much quickened one. This can cause a significant gap in orgasm frequency between the man and the woman.
How to close the gap?
An honest conversation with both parties on male orgasm vs female orgasm is supposed to do the trick. But considering that the reason can be emotional and psychological as well as medical, the solution is more in-depth.
You need to stop yourself from worrying. Don’t think about how fast or slow you cum or if your partner has not cummed yet. Engage in more foreplay and talk before and after sex. For a woman, the orgasm comes in more ways than penetration. Stop looking for a big dick, your partner’s rod is enough to satisfy you except it can’t. You and your partner can also have an honest conversation about it and if there is a need for the intervention if a doctor or a sex therapist, don’t hesitate to see one.
What you should do before sex
Certain practices before sex can strengthen the chances of orgasm in both the man and the woman. For one, masturbation can get things going. Whether it is alone or with a partner, long masturbation teaches your body to naturally delay orgasm. Learn about your body and know when you have reached the point of no return. Tease yourself. Increase and decrease the tension again to hold back an orgasm. Kegel exercises also help a big deal.
Use sex toys that strengthen your pelvic floor like kegel balls, vagina beads, and so on. Finally, research the sex positions to last longer in bed. Some positions call the cum out much faster because they allow for deeper penetration.
What you should do during sex
You can incorporate condoms because they reduce the skin-to-skin feeling which can slow down orgasm. Also, as a man, prioritize your partner’s pleasure over yours and at the same time, enjoy the rhythm and heat that you both create.
But most importantly, do more foreplay. Use fingers, tongue, and sex toys. Sex toys independently enhance and diversify sex life. They also help in intensifying pleasure without the need for a penis. Some of the sex toys you can invest in are remote control vibrators and clit vibrators. So, while the toys do their thing, your hands, fingers, lips, and tongue can arouse your partner too.
The gap between male and female orgasms could be closed off. And to do so, requires body training, mind reprogramming, and major foreplay. And to get the most out of foreplay, you would need at least one adult toy. If you have learned a thing or two from this article and you are looking to diversify your sex life, dive into our best sex toy reviews. We have a sweet surprise that you won’t want to miss.
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