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Sexual Anxiety

Male Sexual Anxiety.

It is not uncommon to feel apathetic towards sexual activities sometimes. That can be due to many reasons ranging from lack of confidence to abuse. When you are in that state, it is hard to become aroused or concentrate on anything sexual.

If you are experiencing sexual anxiety, do not fret! People experience it once in a while. It is not a strange behavior and can be remedied. To help you understand the nuances of sexual performance anxiety and how to get over it, we have put together this guide.

This article will show you why you may be experiencing sex anxiety, the symptoms, and the steps to overcoming sexual anxiety.

Relax and learn!

What is sexual anxiety and what are the signs?

The state where you are worried, nervous, or fearful before or during sex is called sexual anxiety. In this state, things that excite you sexually on a regular day will be futile because there is a concern on your mind.

There are several sexual anxiety symptoms. When you are anxious sexually, one or more of the following signs ensues;

  • Erectile dysfunction: There is a common myth that “A penis has a mind of its own”. That becomes a mere assumption where sexual anxiety is concerned. You see, with your mind all over the place, it may be hard to get an erection. Someone who lacks confidence in bed will find it difficult to achieve or keep an erection. Your concern maybe the size of your penis or the performance anxiety with a new partner. Whatever your worry maybe, it will affect your libido. If you notice this in your partner, erectile dysfunction may be one of the signs that he has sexual performance anxiety.
  • Dryness: Your sexual desires can be meddled with if you are anxious. That means arousal is hard and vaginal dryness is bound to occur. You cannot get wet if blood does not flow to your vagina. That is because blood flows to the genitals when someone is sexually excited.
  • Nervousness before sex: Do you worry about your sexual performance before it even begins? It is a sign of sex anxiety. You cannot seem to concentrate on the pleasure because of the worry about whether you are nailing it or not.
  • You are eager to finish: Sometimes, during sex, the feeling that you are not doing it right makes you want to rush through it. The worry that your partner may only be enduring the sex is a libido killer. You feel miserable, yearn to finish up and get out of there.
  • Fear of sex: Fear and anxiety are interrelated. That means one can cause the other and vice versa. Once you are anxious about sex, you likely fear what it is to come.
  • The panic attack during sex: Ever stopped your partner in the middle of sex because the worry got the best of you? Anxiety may have triggered that panic.
  • Reduced Sex: Sex avoidance and anxiety work hand in hand. You are likely to stay away from sex when your mind is unsettled. Intimacy becomes far-fetched with anxiety looming.

What causes sexual anxiety?

Causes of sex anxiety range from emotional to physical. As you may already know, sex is not just about penetration, the mind is involved. Things happen in your subconscious even before you execute them. When you are worried and think about issues related to sex, you may become anxious and end up not enjoying the intimacy. That is because sex and anxiety have a negative relationship. When worry is present, sex may become less interesting.

Anything that gets you worked up over sexual activities is part of the culprits behind your anxiety. We will discuss the common causes here.

Lack of confidence in bed is one of the most likely causes of sexual anxiety. That might be a result of the perception of your body. You may be worried about your penis size, postpartum belly, saggy breast, sex face, weight among others.

You may also lose confidence if your partner compares your performance with their previous sexual partners. All you can think about at this point is measuring up to that sex standard. You may end up anxious and perform much worse than before.

Another notable cause of sexual anxiety is abuse. Somebody with a history of sexual violence or abuse may have an anxiety disorder. Such a person may have symptoms like panic during sex and scared of sex.

Steps to overcoming sexual performance anxiety

  • Talk with your partner about what makes you anxious: Performance anxiety treatment works better when your partner is involved. Get the person you are intimate with and feel anxious around, talk to them. That will make you feel better and help improve sexual performance. If you have noticed anxiety in your partner, talk to them. Also, be careful what you say to your partner. A guy too nervous to get it up may be thinking of what you said about your ex's penis size. It goes both ways.
  • Improvise if you have concerns about your sexual performance: Introducing new sexual practices can annul low performance in bed. You can get involved in diverse sexual techniques like genital massage to help your sex life. Sex toys can also assist your performance in bed. They are instrumental in enhancing pleasure and fun during sex.
  • Learn to love your body: Practice self intimacy: Masturbation promotes self-love and confidence. You can engage in it to learn about your body, what gives you pleasure and how to accept your look.
  • See a sex therapist: Engaging the service of a professional sex counselor can assist you to get over sexual anxiety. The therapist understands the nuances of sex anxiety better. They can explain and suggest ways to help you heal from it on time.


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What is performance anxiety?
This is the state of being worried, nervous, or fearful about sex and any sexual activities. Performance anxiety happens when your mind is not settled before or during sex.
How to stay erect when nervous?
Take your mind off whatever is worrying you and relax. Concentrate on giving and receiving pleasure instead. Know that sex is supposed to be enjoyable not a feat to impress anyone.
How to help a woman relax in bed?
Talk to her intimately so she can feel safe enough to let her guard down. Engage in oral sex or foreplay too so she can gradually warm up into the activity.
Does sex help with anxiety?
Depends on the anxiety type. If it is sexual anxiety then you may need to heal first before engaging in sex. However, if the anxiety is not sexual, you may alleviate it with sex.
How to deal with performance anxiety?
You can see a therapist, discuss with your partner, pursue intimacy differently, engage in self intimacy and divert your mind off the cause of your anxiety. It also helps to exercise.

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