Has your heart ever skipped a beat when someone walked into the room? Did you get butterflies as well? At some point in our lives, we have all felt this insane chemistry with someone else — that’s some crazy sexual tension right there.
Some people say that sexual chemistry is overrated when the sex doesn’t meet expectations. However, some others believe that tension helps spice things up and makes the sexual experience more fulfilling for the parties involved.
What camp do you fall in?
What is sexual tension?
Marla Renee Stewart, M.A gave the sexual tension definition as “an energetic force between two or more people who have a sexual interest in each other”. Many people view sexual tension in the context of forbidden relationships, such as sexual tension at work between colleagues or between close friends.
But that would be very limiting. Couples can build and experience this tension as well. No one is exempt from the forces of attraction. Note that sexual tension can only thrive where there’s mutual sexual attraction. And attraction isn’t something you can force. Most prefer to build this unspoken tension through flirtation, arguments, eye contact, etc. There’s no limit to how you can communicate your desire for your partner, as long as it’s done respectfully.
Now to the million-dollar question, ‘is sexual tension healthy?’ To be honest, you’re the only one who can decide if this tension is healthy for you or not— depending on how it affects your mental health and relationships going forward.
9 Signs of sexual tension — Watch out!
Although sexual tension is more of a psychological situation, it manifests in various physical experiences. As a result, we have outlined telltale sexual tension signs that you should watch out for.
- Daydreaming: Are your imaginations running wild yet? Your mind processes what it must feel like to be with this person before your body receives those signals. Once you see this person, you may picture yourself kissing them, fucking them, waking up with them. Just be careful not to start planning future vacations when you’ve not even spoken to them.
- Increased Heart Rate: When you’re with someone you’re attracted to, there’s a high chance that your heart beats faster than usual. Being around that person makes you feel giddy, sending signals to your brain that increase the supply of dopamine, oxytocin, and other feel-good hormones. Thus, your heart rate increases significantly.
- Constant Flirtation: Flirting is one of the signs a woman is sexually attracted to you. There’s always going to be a coy comment in there somewhere. Teasing each other also adds to the fun of flirting. It’s all part of sexual chemistry.
- You Get Butterflies: Those flutters in your belly constitute one of the most prominent sexual tension signs — and it’s okay to have them! You can interpret this as being nervous, and if you’re lucky, they probably feel the same way around you.
- Eye Contact: This is probably the greatest of all sexual tension signs because an intense stare says more than a thousand words. If you find yourself staring at them and quickly looking away when they catch your eyes or holding the gaze until someone interrupts– there might just be something there to explore.
- Awkward Conversation: Sexual tension can throw you off a bit because your organs take over your thinking faculty for a quick second. As you think of jumping their bones or how soft their lips might be, it’s normal for the conversation to get awkward– you’ve seen it in movies.
- You Miss Them: One of the intense sexual chemistry signs includes wanting to be within proximity of the person you’re attracted to. Even if they’re strangers, you ding yourself reliving the moments you had and wanting to see them again.
- Third-Party Observations: Most times, the tension between people can be felt by others. You and your prospective lover may have a hard time admitting it, but your friends may hint that you both should ‘just get a room’ or something along those lines.
- You Crave Physical Contact with Them: Touch is probably the last phase of growing sexual anticipation. When you have chemistry with someone, you get the urge to grab their hand, rub their back, hug them just a second longer, etc. When there’s sexual attraction between you and someone, even the slightest physical contact or proximity to the said person may feel like crackling currents of electricity in the room.
How to build sexual tension?
Admittedly, the chemistry between two people cannot always be on the high side. Sometimes it’s there, but when it's not, you might want to get the person you desire to take notice of you by creating sexual tension. Here are some simple steps you can follow to build tension.
Delay sexual gratification
When you’re denied certain pleasures, it’s only natural that your desire grows stronger. That’s how this works. Kicking sex off the table gives you ample time to flirt and seduce each other, thus ramping up sexual anticipation by several degrees. So, to build sexual tension between you and your lover, focus on other means of seduction.
Flirting will never go out of style. The occasional intense gaze on your lover (to be) works fine. Quick glances here and there also pass a message that you want them really bad. Don’t shy away from touching them (if you’re sure they’re okay with it). The light brush on the cheek, some back rubs and tracing fingers down your lover’s arms will send tingling feelings all over their body. Give it everything you’ve got, but don’t get creepy. Just do whatever works for you.
Exchange raunchy texts
Sexting is one of the best ways to build sexual anticipation, especially if your partner can’t be with you physically. Go heavy on the details, when you tell them what you can’t wait to do to them, how much you miss their lips, how hard they make you come, all the works. Send nudes (if you’re comfortable with it), exchange erotic movie clips, memes, whatever. Go digital; we thoroughly encourage it.
Whether or not you’re into BDSM, role-playing is a sure-fire way to enact sexual teasing and make your partner desire you even more than ever. If you’re not into pain-pleasure dynamics, harmless role-playing such as teacher-student, nurse-patient, and boss-secretary work just fine. Try it once and see your sexual chemistry get on a whole new level.
Remember, sex is off the table when creating sexual tension, right? But we are not opposed to mutual masturbation! When you can finally have some private time, tease your partner by touching yourself intimately while they watch. Use your favorite sex toys, and masturbate until you make yourself come.
Can sex toys alleviate sexual tension?
A good sex toy is your comrade in arms. When you’ve had enough sexual tension to last you a whole week, and your partner is not available, a sex toy will never forsake you!
To spice things up, you can picture the person you share chemistry with while you fuck your way to an intense orgasm.
Head over to our sex toy reviews to find amazing sex toys that will help you release all that pent-up sexual energy.
Sexual tension is built on mutual feelings. So, if the other person doesn't feel the same way about you, there’s nothing to be done. The best way to handle your sexual attraction to someone is to tell them how you feel, so they can let you know how they feel. We sincerely hope this article was helpful to you. If so, take a bold step to improve your sex life by checking out our reviews, where you’ll find budget-friendly sex toys for a life of happiness and orgasms.
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